Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Nerves, Nerves, Nerves

Yesterday I got an email pointing me to a great review for The Ghost Shrink, the Accidental Gigolo & the Poltergeist Accountant. Do you know what my first thought was as I read the heady praise being heaped on my undeserving head?

Oh, no.

Yep. No jumping for joy here. I actually thought Oh, no, she liked it. Quickly followed by: She's gonna hate the next one... (which hits the ebook stores October 27th) and really hate the one after that (which I am in the middle of writing).

Yeah. Way to think positive, Vivi.

I've been a nervous wreck for a few days now. On Wednesday I hit that point (that awful, awful point) in my WIP where the rosy glow wore off and I became convinced the entire thing sucked. It wasn't funny. It wasn't romantic. It was a big, sloppy, disjointed mess. My characters were inconsistent and unlikeable. My plot was plodding and unbelievable. In short, junk. All of it, junk.

It doesn't help matters that I'm in submission-waiting limbo on another manuscript and will-readers-like-it-waiting limbo on the October release. Stress piled up on stress and turned me into a walking basketcase. I'm visiting some friends at the moment and I actually gave one of them instructions to throw water in my face if I look like I'm stressing myself out about the writing crap. So far I've narrowly dodged a couple dousings.

I know I need to plod on through on the WIP. I need to push past my current welter of insecurities and get to the finish line. I can make it funny in revisions. I can make it romantic in revisions. I can make it good. Later. Right now, I just need to get to THE END.

Nerves suck. But they are part of being a writer. I worry that I won't be good enough to get published. I worry that once I'm published, no one will like my book. And I worry that even if they loved that one, they will hate this one. There is always fresh worry baking in the Andrews household.

My question for you: How do you get past your own insecurities and fears? How do you convince yourself that your current project (writing or otherwise) is worth completing? How do you silence that nasty doubting voice telling you it isn't good enough?


Kate Diamond said...

There may be fresh worry baking in the Andrews kitchen, but we're opening a bottle of optimism in the Diamond wine cellar!

Do call if you wish to imbibe.

Ciara said...

Good question! I really don't know the answer. I'm at that part in my manuscript where I want to toss the whole thing and start something new. (There are always plenty of new ideas brewing just waiting to push my current WIP out the the way!)

If you find a good answer, let me know!

Vivi Andrews said...

LOL, Kate. The wine cellar! I knew there was some optimism around here somewhere. ;)

Ciara - I definitely know the feeling of wanting to rush off to look at that shiny new idea just waiting to be made into a kickass story. It's so hard to slog through the WIP to the finish with those lovely distractions all around!

Ladytink_534 said...

I get someone I trust and respect (who won't lie to spare my feelings) to read what I've written and if they enjoy it then I feel like I've really done something worthwhile.